Today’s prayer involved Bible meditation. The author uses the STAR (Scripture, Think, Apply, Repeat) method to help us meditate. The first thing to do is to pray to God and ask him to guide to you a scripture he wants you to read. The author gives the option of reading Psalms 23 1:3 scripture, if you don’t want to ask God to lead you to a scripture. At first I was unsure that God would be able to communicate a scripture that he wants me to read (I am building my faith in Him). But because I have faith in Him, I decided to pray for Him to lead me to a scripture. God is real, I tell you! God lead me to James 3:15, “This wisdom descends not from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.” At first, I was confused. Why is God leading me to this scripture? Aren’t I doing everything right? I am waiting until marriage (read Why I am choosing to wait.. to know why), I am attending church consistently, I am spending more time with Him, and I have dedicated my life to Him. At that moment, I couldn’t understand why He led me to this scripture. Then I realized why God lead me to this scripture, I smoke weed. Funny enough, when I finally had this revelation, my roommate texted me asking to smoke (which I declined). When I first accepted God’s free gift of salvation, I wanted to know if smoking weed was considered unholy. So I googled the question, and I read because weed is grown from the Earth it is okay. Once I got that answer, I stopped researching and caring. Weed is not unholy; cool, let me go on about my life. Until God led me to this scripture.
This is God’s way in telling me to stop smoking, it is against righteousness. Honestly, I was shocked because I was not prepared to stop smoking weed. I have been smoking almost everyday for going on three years. But now reflecting back, I should not be shocked. God gave me signs that led me up to this moment. When I moved into my new apartment, my Saturdays consisted of constantly smoking in my room, sometimes wasting my entire weekends. Then my landlord got really strict and wouldn’t allow smoking in the apartment, so I had to go outside to smoke. This allowed me to smoke a lot less but I still smoked. When I accepted God into my life I felt the need to smoke less than before but I would still smoke. But God leading me to this scripture is His way of explicitly telling me to stop smoking. Because I am a child of God and I am an obedient daughter, I will listen to my Father. Am I willing to pass up on the blessings God has for me, for weed? Am I willingly to not meet my Father in heaven when the rapture comes because of weed? Am I willing to not be elevated to the next level in my life because of weed? The answers to these questions is no. There is a reason why God is telling me to stop smoking weed. If I ignore this order, it could potentially hinder the level of success I reach in life. I refuse to let that happen. On April 25, 2017 was the last day I smoked weed. I will be giving my bowl, grinder and remainder of my weed to my roommate. In my weak moments when I want to indulge into temptation, I will ask for grace from God to get me through temptation.